1. |
Stage Fright
01:58
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I picked up my guitar, and I tried to write a song
But it was a little too short, and then it was too long
"Okay that part is stupid, let's move this one around"
Trying every different kind of drug to write something profound
But all I keep writing is shit
People won't like this one bit
I put on an image, and I act like I don't care
But the truth is fear of judgement fills me with dispair
I am terrified to get up on a stage
What if I forget the lyrics or I forget how to play?
I am afraid of you all
I am afraid of you all
I lie to other people, say I write songs for myself
But if that really were the truth, why would I share with someone else?
I'm a walking contradiction, I'm a hypocrite
I need to just embrace it, I need to just submit
People won't like all my songs
But that doesn't mean something's wrong
Lately I've been thinking about my legacy
How will I be remembered? Will I have a family?
Music's just expression, like writing on a wall
I need to scribble harder, embrace it warts and all
This is my chance to be heard
It's time to break free from the herd
But I am afraid of you all
I am afraid of you all
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2. |
untitled
01:55
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Came into this world just yesterday, by tomorrow I'll be dead
So I can't help it when these silly thoughts come racing through my head
I put ink in my skin and smoke in my lungs, as if I'm trying to say
"Fuck you God, I didn't ask to exist. I didn't ask for all this pain"
And there's no point to it
It's all gonna end up the same
With your soul in the ether
And your body in a grave
Sometimes I wonder why I bother to sleep, I guess it's just my fate
To be reminded of everything that I can't do every second that I'm awake
Every single day I get nothing done, it's like there's something on my chest
I can't tell if I'm just a lazy fuck or if I'm actually depressed
And there's no point to it
It's all gonna end up the same
With your soul in the ether
And your body in a grave
The last time I felt close to someone, I started to feel sick
Like the whole thing was just more fucking work, so I acted like a piece of shit
I'd say that I felt sorry, but that would be a lie
We're all gonna die alone, we don't get to say goodbye
And there's no point to it
It's all gonna end up the same
With your soul in the ether
And your body in a grave
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3. |
My Therapist...
03:06
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I was feelin kinda blue when she left
Like something giant sitting right upon my chest
I spent a whole day lying on my bed
Picturing new ways for me to end up dead
I asked my friend Chase what I should do
He said man just live your life man you do you
I tried just living my life for awhile
But jerking off and Netflix couldn’t make me smile
One day I finally said I’d had enough
All people need help when life gets tough
I met a therapist up in Dubuque
When I walked in I fell down and puked
My therapist is my ex-girlfriend
But she’s the only one insurance will cover
My therapist is my ex-girlfriend
Unfortunately I still love her
At first things were starting out just fine
But slowly she cracked into my mind
She said, “aha! Oh, I see what is wrong”
The road to your recovery is long
The problem is you only care about yourself
Like when you leave your dishes on the shelf
I think you might just be a little stressed
And you can’t handle it who would have guessed?
Right now my advice to you is this
Grow a pair quit acting like a bitch
She said I think that we got far today
See the receptionist on your way out to pay
My therapist is my ex-girlfriend
But she’s the only one insurance will cover
My therapist is my ex-girlfriend
Unfortunately I still love her
Before my prospects all seemed so bleak
But now I get to see her once a week
Something strange happened and I don’t quite know how
Humiliation porn is my new fetish now
My therapist is my ex-girlfriend
But she’s the only one insurance will cover
My therapist is my ex-girlfriend
Unfortunately I still love her
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4. |
Surprise Party
02:34
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It had been a long night
And I had just got home
After a day out with my friends
It was time to be alone
I reached into my pocket
And I tried to grab my key
But I was not prepared
For what I was about to see
I turned the key and then the knob
And then I opened up the door
When I saw what was inside
My jaw fell to the floor
I walked into my house
And I started freaking out
Cause there were 7 total strangers
Having sex on my couch
It’s a surprise party
An impromptu orgy scene
That was picking up steam
It’s a surprise party
The only person not invited was me
I put my hands on my head
And I screamed what the fuck?
When a guy came up
He told me that his name was Chuck
He said we’re sorry to intrude
But we really like your place
You can join us if you want
Jen will sit on your face
I knew I should say no
But they were having so much fun
So I said okay I guess
I’ll join you till you’re done
I took off my shirt
And Jen helped with my pants
You know it’s not every day
That you get this kind of chance
It’s a surprise party
An impromptu orgy scene
That was picking up steam
It’s a surprise party
The only person not invited was me
Well Chuck had told the truth
And Jen sat on my face
It was the strangest thing
It’s like I was in outer space
Things were getting kinda heavy
So we moved it to my bed
Then a woman named Irene
Started giving me head
Quickly it became clear
That these people were pros
Cause Irene got double teamed
But Chuck and a guy named Joe
There were bodies all over
Like an anatomy quiz
Before I knew what happened
My bed was full of jizz
It’s a surprise party
An impromptu orgy scene
That was picking up steam
It’s a surprise party
The only person not invited was me
Well I felt kind of ashamed
How did I let it come to this?
But as they piled out
Jen slipped me a kiss
She said that she had fun
And she’d see me in a week
She slipped down her shirt
And she let me have a peek
Once they had all left
And I had tried cleaning my bed
A brilliant idea
Came right into my head
I said I know a place
That we could break into with ease
It’s just across the street
At my neighbor Steve’s
It’s a surprise party
An impromptu orgy scene
That was picking up steam
It’s a surprise party
The only person not invited is Steve
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5. |
We Don't Want You
02:56
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21 years in the making
And it all comes down to this
I step up to the plate
And it’s another swing and miss
Each time I check my email
It’s filled with more bad news
Obligations or rejections
Which one will they chose?
I thought I had it figured out
Back when I was a kid
But I guess they saw it differently
And now they’ve closed the lid
I want to just forget it
So I’m smoking every day
I don’t think it’s helping
I can still hear them say
We don’t want you
We don’t want you
Today I just said fuck it
I refuse to play their game
I can blaze my own path
Make something of my name
I know that I’m better than
Those fucking people think
I’ll claw my way up to the top
Before they even blink
External valuations don’t
Determine my self worth
Cause I’ve got thoughts and feelings
And all they’ve got are words
I’m deleting all my emails
And I’m writing every day
I can tell that it is helping
I hope they hear me say
I don’t need you
I don’t need you
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6. |
Addition By Subtraction
03:56
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It was freezing in November
And the train was running late
So we waited till December
And by then God had sealed our fate
We were destined for a winter
Filled with cold and ice
But just like pulling out a splinter
Everything was looking nice
Cause we had found a shortcut
A little off the beaten path
And as they helped escort us
We couldn’t help but laugh
But our joy turned to sadness
Cause the path was filled with pain
And I sank into a madness
Cause the sun had turned to rain
Tell me did you feel the pain
Tell me could you hear the rain?
And I wonder how you’d be
Would you look like her or me?
Well I’m sorry I’m so selfish
Only caring about me
But I feared things would be hellish
And I didn’t wanna wait and see
I justified my actions
As a matter of public health
But addition by subtraction
Only benefits myself
I never got to meet you
And you never met a single soul
But it was better than to keep you
That’s what I tell myself to fill the hole
Tell me did you feel the pain
Tell me could you hear the rain?
And I wonder how you’d be
Would you look like her or me?
And it's true what they say about me
I'm as fucking selfish as can be
I'm sorry about what I did to you
Before you said hello, I bid you adieu
Tell me did you feel the pain
Tell me could you hear the rain?
And I wonder how you’d be
Would you look like her or me?
Would you look like her or me?
Would you look like her or me?
Would you look like her or me?
Would you look like her or me?
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7. |
Do What You Wanna Do
02:56
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I don’t wanna come over
I don’t wanna hang out with you
I’d rather do drugs with my friends
So that’s what I’m gonna do
I don’t wanna go outside
I don’t wanna put on my shoes
I’d rather just sit on my couch
So that’s what I’m gonna do
It can be kinda tough
When you’re racing with the rats
But you ain’t got a job
And your car has got a flat
And you start to feel
Like no matter what you do
Life is always there
To take another shit on you
Just remember that you have the power
So do what you wanna do
I don’t wanna cut my hair
I don’t wanna stop getting tattoos
I’d rather look how I fucking want
So that’s what I’m gonna do
I don’t wanna sit at a desk
I don’t wanna go to school
I’d rather play my stupid songs
So that’s what I’m gonna do
It can be kinda tough
When you’re racing with the rats
But you ain’t got a job
And your car has got a flat
And you start to feel
Like no matter what you do
Life is always there
To take another shit on you
Just remember that you have the power
So do what you wanna do
I don’t wanna be controlled
I don’t wanna play by their rules
I’d rather throw them out and piss on them
So that’s what I’m gonna do
I don’t wanna just scrape by
I don’t wanna have a hobby or two
I’d rather have some fucking fun
So that’s what I’m gonna do
It can be kinda tough
When you’re racing with the rats
But you ain’t got a job
And your car has got a flat
And you start to feel
Like no matter what you do
Life is always there
To take another shit on you
Just remember that you have the power
And you can do what you wanna do
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8. |
Alright
03:04
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The test that I got back today
Had more red than I wanted
Something fell in my apartment
Now I’m convinced it’s haunted
I haven’t done my dishes
In a bit over a week
I haven’t taken out my trash
So now my whole place stinks
So I look to my left
And I look to my right
But there doesn’t seem to be
Any end in sight
Please won’t somebody hold me tight?
And tell me it’s gonna be alright, alright?
I stay up a bit too late
A different woman every night
I think about my future
And I’m paralyzed with fright
I’ll never be the person
That others want me to be
I might just lay down on my back
And drift out to the sea
So I look to my left
And I look to my right
But there doesn’t seem to be
Any end in sight
Please won’t somebody hold me tight?
And tell me it’s gonna be alright, alright?
I was feeling a little tense
So I tried to just unwind
But I kicked back a bit too hard
And unwound my whole damn life
No matter what I seem to do
I’m always moving backwards
Cause the earth is spinning faster
Than I am moving forward
So I look to my left
And I look to my right
But there doesn’t seem to be
Any end in sight
Please won’t somebody hold me tight?
And tell me it’s gonna be alright, alright?
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9. |
God Is A Dick
01:55
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As I sat outside
Of the pearly gates
Waiting for the good lord
To call my name
I looked all around
At the people there
But they didn’t look happy
No they just looked scared
We all sat there
Nervously
How’m I gonna spend
My eternity?
Out came a man
In a big white robe
So we sat there quiet
Until he spoke
He said you don’t have to go home
But you can’t stay here
Then he walked away
And took a big sip from his beer
I didn’t live a whole life
To end like this
So I said get back here
You little shit
He said what have you
Done with your life?
Cause you got no kids
And you got no wife
I told him I wanted
To be just like you
So I showed up early
To Sunday school
People brought their problems
Like I was their king
So I sat on my ass
And I didn’t do a thing
He said you have got some nerve
To act like that up here
That sure took some balls
Then he handed me a beer
I said no thanks sir
I don’t drink
But if you don’t mind
I’ve got a few things
That I’d like
To get off my chest
Cause I’ve reached the end
Of a life-long quest
I think that you’re
A piece of shit
World hunger and cancer
Man what a dick
You let people believe
That bible trash
So you can shove this beer
Back up your ass
Then he sent me straight to hell
And one thing became clear
Hell sucks a fucking dick
I should have held on to that beer
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10. |
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I’m a semi-attractive guy
When I try to be
Kinda like your best friend from high school
Mixed with some hipster on TV
You’re a stone cold stunner
Way prettier than me
But I’ve got a guitar in my hand
So I can reach above my league
I ain’t one for personality
And my body’s not that great
Unless you’re into walking sticks
Or guys who can’t lift weights
I’m asking you politely
To come back to my place
We can watch a movie
And I’ll cum on your face
Please let me fuck you tonight
Nothing has ever felt this right
Lower your standards
For the guy with the guitar
Let’s find our inner freaky selves
Embrace who we are
I can go one or two times per night
So please let me fuck you tonight
I’ve done a lot of research
I know which chords to play
I know the perfect strumming patterns
I know exactly what to say
Cause you’re so god damn beautiful
It hurts when you’re not around
But you’d look even better
With my cock inside your mouth
Please let me fuck you tonight
Nothing has ever felt this right
Lower your standards
For the guy with the guitar
Let’s find our inner freaky selves
Embrace who we are
I can go one maybe two times in a night
So please let me fuck you tonight
I know that I’m not perfect
But we’ve got to meet half way
I’ll even share some of my weed
And put on Dr. Dre
You can call this song offensive
You can call it gross
But at least I’m being honest
And that’s more than you’ll get from most
Please let me fuck you tonight
Nothing has ever felt this right
Lower your standards
For the guy with the guitar
Let’s find our inner freaky selves
Embrace who we are
I can go one or two times per night
So please let me fuck you tonight
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11. |
What's It For?
03:41
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There’s a pretty little marble
And it’s rolling down the floor
But where is it rolling?
I can’t tell
It’s my favorite color
And it’s got my favorite shapes
That’s why I brought it
To this motel
It’s my job to consume
And accelerate the plan
To send us all
To our new hell
I’ve studied all the data
And I’ve finally got the truth
And now I’m back
To ring the bell
We are all computers
Intergalactic prosecutors
Input and output
Solving problems we created
We are all computers
All we do is rearrange things
And that takes lots of work
And it’s the work
That really drive the nail
Making things a little hotter
By moving them around
Building monuments
Right next to the jail
But what we don’t notice
Is we do it every day
Killing stars with each
And every inhale
And now we have a test
To betray our natural selves
But its a test
We're destined to fail
We are all a virus
Intergalactic thermal pirates
Taking and using
And non-stop consuming
We are all a virus
We are all the same
As every other living thing
I guess that’s just
The physics of it all
You don’t have a choice
You can’t change a single thing
Because you are bound
By cosmic law
You’re just a reaction
You’re a symptom to disease
And accident just like your dad
And your mom
But it’s not your fault
You should blame the one in charge
The grand design has got
A fatal flaw
We are all a cancer
Intergalactic necromancers
Falling and rising
And metastasizing
We are all a cancer
There’s a pretty little marble
And it’s rolling down the floor
But where is it rolling?
I can’t tell
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12. |
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When I was young
I was brave and so curious
But now I’ve grown up
And I’m scared and I’m worried that
I’ve fucked up
Wasted all of my chances
To be something more
Than both of my parents
So don’t ask me how I’m doing
I’m doing the best that I can
In the face of all of my failings
I’m doing the best that I can
I’m scared that one day
I’ll fall down when I’m walking
And they’ll run tests
Find something on my liver
And I’ll get sick
As my body fights me
And I’ll rot alive
Until I’ve lost my mind
So don’t ask me how I’m doing
I’m doing the best that I can
In the face of all of my failings
I’m doing the best that I can
One day I’ll die
My life will be forgotten
And all of my choices
Will amount to nothing
And all the ones
That I’ve hurt won’t remember
And all of my mail
Will be returned to sender
So don’t ask me how I’m doing
I’m doing the best that I can
In the face of all of my failings
I’m doing the best that I can
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13. |
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Roll bus roll, take me off
A rolled sweatshirt makes the window soft
If I fall asleep, don’t wake me up.
Roll bus roll, take me up.
Midnight coming on a Monday night.
I’m gonna go again because I don’t feel right.
Quickpack, knapsack, Quicksnack, Quicktrain.
42nd street, Greyhound again.
Roll bus roll, take me off
A rolled sweatshirt makes the window soft
If I fall asleep, don’t wake me up.
Roll bus roll, take me up.
Old bodegas and old streetlights
Harlem looks so warm tonight.
All those cheap desserts memory hurts, I could die,
I gotta to take 2 Tylenols and close my eyes.
Roll bus roll, take me off
A rolled sweatshirt makes the window soft
If I fall asleep, don’t wake me up.
Roll bus roll, take me up.
I wasn’t designed to move so fast
I wasn’t designed to have so much past
And in my minds eye they all have so much fun,
Nowhere to hide, and nowhere to run
And then the sun setting on my youth makes that old shadow get taller,
Oh But its all fine as long as the bus makes the city behind me get smaller and smaller.
Roll bus roll, take me off
A rolled sweatshirt makes the window soft
If I fall asleep, don’t wake me up.
Roll bus roll, take me up.
Two weeks in England, two weeks in town.
Another hundred bucks of medication down.
Another sorry message that I need to send.
And another situation that I have to end.
A midnight coming on a Monday night
I’m gonna go again I might not be alright
Its a bitter pill, and it’s still the same
42nd Street, Greyhound again.
If I get one seat, I hope it’s the window.
And if I get two seats I’ll just lie down.
But if I get one seat and it’s just the aisle,
I’ll still be asleep before the hundreth mile.
And then inside some tiny dream,
and inside that some kind of me,
and outside us rolls the bus and the time will go by till inside me I am asleep
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TroutyB Bloomington, Indiana
TroutyB is a singer-songwriter based out of Bloomington, IN. Influences include: Jeffrey Lewis, AJJ, Pat The Bunny, The Mountain Goats, Elliott Smith, Bo Burnham, Jon Lajoie, Hamell on Trial, Modest Mouse
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